Sunday, September 05, 2004

Not All That Humourous

Here are the results of that acclaimed bit of "sniff", "sniff" humourous bit of news i.e. "Dave Matthews Band Charged With Illegal Dumping".
Seems there were about 200 people on the sight seeing boat ferrying up the Chicago River that fateful night. Suddenly, almost, but not all of the sightseers, were deluged with a few hundred pounds of something chunky, slimy weasely and wet! There was a moment of, let's call it "shock", when everyone realised, by the stench, they were covered in shit, piss and anything a busload of Dave Matthews band entourage had eaten in the last 24 hours. Some sightseers, not sighting so much at present, were heaving over the sides of the boat and IN the boat for that matter. Just adding to all the jollitity of being covered in human waste and ADDING to it with waste of their own! Other sightseers, absolutely not sighting, were carted off to various local hospitals where I'm sure all were given the requisite shots of antibiotics and soapings that are made for situataions like this.
Yes, many got a laugh over that but give it some thought. People are afraid to touch anything in this day and age due to the pounding into the psyche about AIDS, E-bola, E-coli and all that other "E" stuff and these folks got drenched in human waste by ANOTHER HUMAN!
Not only another human but a representative of a FAMOUS, WELL KNOWN, INSIGHTFUL, TALENTED and just all around RESPECTED human being, DAVE MATTHEWS! This was his band and "entourage".
The DRIVER of the bus, STEFAN A. WOHL, DENIED the whole incident. Only problem with that denial though is the fact there were about a half dozen or so surveillence cameras around that had it all on tape and that's how the Chicago Police found them. Not only the police but the Illinios Attorney General had to get involved. This bus had to be tracked down!
Yeah...He dumped the load into the Chicago River, got back in his drivers seat and put-er in gear and went on rollin' down the highway!
I could only wonder what The Rolling Stones were thinking when they hired that band to tour with them back in '97. Didn't make sense then and not now.
"Class" act...The Dave Mathews Band.


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